I can't stress this enough......I understand what your going thru and that this sounds easier said than done, but for your psychological and physical health you need to. Even if it's just for 5 minutes every couple of hours. It will make a WORLD of difference in your recovery.
One of the first things you need to do is find a friend/relative who you can lean on for "physical" help. By that I mean groceries, laundry, house upkeep, however much help you need to keep your life going. The extent of the whirlwind during these first few months is different for everyone. So don't think that because you can "keep going" that your not that hurt. Also, don't think that because it's all you can do to empty the dishwasher before you go back to bed and cry that makes you a complete basket case.
Your going to be doing a LOT of reading in the beginning, just to try and wrap your head around what the heck happened....and this too is normal. You are going to act in way's you normally would never have before with any other life crisis or breakup...and this too is normal. Some of your friends and family are going to scratch their heads not understanding what your going thru or why your acting the way your acting (and for them that also is normal)
The Damage They Do
Whatever the extent of your emotional pain is NORMAL and has been felt by others! And do not, I repeat DO NOT allow anyone around you who utters the words "just get over it"! Unless they've been thru this they will NOT understand. Their not being mean, they just don't "get it"...cut them some slack and cut them loose at the same time. This period of time you are in "survival mode". Treat it as such.
Shell Shocked
Bottom Line here:
Your falling apart and don't know why and can't seem to get a handle on it.
Your brain is foggy
You can't eat
You can't sleep
Your Confused
Your Stressed
Your Heart aches
You feel like you've been ripped open and your Soul has been Raped
There's a GOOD chance you are suffering from Adrenial Exhaustion. Adrenial Exhaustion is caused by the fight or flight impulse being constantly triggered. Adrenial Exhaustion can be "miss diagnosed" as a multiple of other illness, so please, if you go to a Dr. make SURE they take the test for Adrenial Exhaustion.
Adrenial Exhaustion
Here is a quote from the Daily Strength site (link is provided on the Links page) In no uncertain terms this woman puts into words the utter anguish that people who are finally OUT of these situations go thru. I'm only posting a portion, but the link will follow if you want to read the whole thing.
She Posted:
He took something from with in me..
Tomorrow marks the One month post break up from xN: One solid month where only one day went by without crying my eyes out, the result of this... sub conjunctiva hemorrhage in my left eye. Two pant sizes lost from not being able to eat, exhaustion from not being able to sleep.
My body, feels infected with some kind of poison, I feel toxic and am unable to think clearly, I feel sick, really sick. My hands are always shaking, my heart is always racing. Working, waking up in the morning is unbearable, walking to the store is a feat in it's self.
This emptiness, somewhere in side me, my x N took something from me when he left me, when he through me away, so backhandedly, so coldly. Something is missing, it's gone and I can't find it until I know what it is. What did he take that I can't feel anymore? At first I thought it was just "him", his presence that I had lost but that's not it, he took a piece of me, it's gone, whatever it is. I can't function with out it, I need it back to continue on living. Can you die from a broken heart?
My body, feels infected with some kind of poison, I feel toxic and am unable to think clearly, I feel sick, really sick. My hands are always shaking, my heart is always racing. Working, waking up in the morning is unbearable, walking to the store is a feat in it's self.
This emptiness, somewhere in side me, my x N took something from me when he left me, when he through me away, so backhandedly, so coldly. Something is missing, it's gone and I can't find it until I know what it is. What did he take that I can't feel anymore? At first I thought it was just "him", his presence that I had lost but that's not it, he took a piece of me, it's gone, whatever it is. I can't function with out it, I need it back to continue on living. Can you die from a broken heart?
She explains the utter WORK it is just to function on a day to day basis so clearly! YOU ARE NOT ALONE in this!! Whatever pain your going thru, as you can see by the post above, it is NOT UNUSUAL. You are NORMAL. And what your going thru is normal.
The Whole Post is here
A word of caution. This site (and many others) are OPEN and VIEWABLE by ANYONE. Sometimes it's a good idea to just go "underground" for a while. It gives you the opportunity to get some air and clear your head. So should you decide to signup and/or post it is up to your discretion.
